The Future 

Hi guys! 

This week I have been reading and re- mastering my writing skill. It’s been said that a writer never stops learning, and that’s true. I love learning new things that I didn’t know before. Even if that something is what I should have known from the start. But, hey. Nobody’s perfect.  

It’s also been a week of personal challenges. 

As some of you may know I have battled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. That battle has seen me fall, lose my sense of self and wander in the dark. But it’s also made me stronger and more determined to overcome it. 

Yesterday I hit another milestone. I walked by myself, went to a coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. Okay, so it doesn’t seem like that big a deal and to some it probably isn’t, but I haven’t done that in such a long time. I’ve either gone with my husband who is fabulous  dealing with my illness and he’s ordered for the two of us, or we walk together. 

I can’t explain all of those emotions what I felt, but I was almost certain that I’d back out of going. But I didn’t. 

It was a huge deal to me to be able to do that. And I hope to do it more often. 

I am about to start therapy again soon. Earlier this year I was discharged from Primary Care to Secondary where they could keep more of an eye on me while I explore the issues of my past. And with an assessment for Autism in the pipeline it’s all going on. 

My childhood was very traumatic as were my teenage years. A lot of the stuff that happened was swept under the carpet by family members that didn’t want to remember or talk about what happened to me. There are a lot of issues I have to iron out and put my suffering to bed. 

How I will cope during that process is going to be hard to tell. 

Which is why I must put this blog aside for now and concentrate on overcoming this obstacle that I call recovery.  

It pains me to do so, but I can’t give you my all if I’m not whole myself. 

In the past four years I have loved writing posts about writing and various things and I hope that my ramblings have helped you in someway. 

Soooo…. 

It’s with that I say goodbye for now. 

Hopefully I’ll be back blogging about something insignificant again one day. 

I hope you continue to meet your goals and achieve your dreams. Never stop going for what you want. 

Blaze

With thanks to  Jamie Street for the image via Unsplash.com 

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Colour Therapy

image

Hi guys!

I’ve been seeing a Psychologist for just over a month now. In that time I’ve experienced many emotions. Some, I expected to feel. The others, not so much.

The first week I felt really angry with things. I dealt with it by listening to a lot of My Chemical Romance and walking. The second week I’d calmed and was happier. By the third session the anger had resurfaced followed by a lot of upset.

This has continued as I’ve talked about my traumatic childhood and teenage years.

Only last week did I open up about it and I was fine. The emotions didn’t show up until later.

The picture above is from the Animal Kingdom by Millie Marotta. Colouring isn’t something that always helps me. In the past couple of weeks though it has tremendously. It gives you a chance to think about something else other than what you’re feeling and thinking about.

Sometimes I like to colour with music playing in the background. Other times I prefer to colour in silence. It all depends on my mood.

Colouring books get a lot of bad press. It’s beyond me why. If it helps someone relax and take away their troubles how can that be bad? Or maybe I’m missing the point entirely.

Who knows?

I’ve had a good week with receiving feedback from readers. I’m still on a dilemma about what angle to tell the story from, but I’m hopeful that, that will be resolved shortly.

I hope you have had a great week and continue to do so in the coming one.

Until next week,

Blaze