The Future 

Hi guys! 

This week I have been reading and re- mastering my writing skill. It’s been said that a writer never stops learning, and that’s true. I love learning new things that I didn’t know before. Even if that something is what I should have known from the start. But, hey. Nobody’s perfect.  

It’s also been a week of personal challenges. 

As some of you may know I have battled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. That battle has seen me fall, lose my sense of self and wander in the dark. But it’s also made me stronger and more determined to overcome it. 

Yesterday I hit another milestone. I walked by myself, went to a coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. Okay, so it doesn’t seem like that big a deal and to some it probably isn’t, but I haven’t done that in such a long time. I’ve either gone with my husband who is fabulous  dealing with my illness and he’s ordered for the two of us, or we walk together. 

I can’t explain all of those emotions what I felt, but I was almost certain that I’d back out of going. But I didn’t. 

It was a huge deal to me to be able to do that. And I hope to do it more often. 

I am about to start therapy again soon. Earlier this year I was discharged from Primary Care to Secondary where they could keep more of an eye on me while I explore the issues of my past. And with an assessment for Autism in the pipeline it’s all going on. 

My childhood was very traumatic as were my teenage years. A lot of the stuff that happened was swept under the carpet by family members that didn’t want to remember or talk about what happened to me. There are a lot of issues I have to iron out and put my suffering to bed. 

How I will cope during that process is going to be hard to tell. 

Which is why I must put this blog aside for now and concentrate on overcoming this obstacle that I call recovery.  

It pains me to do so, but I can’t give you my all if I’m not whole myself. 

In the past four years I have loved writing posts about writing and various things and I hope that my ramblings have helped you in someway. 

Soooo…. 

It’s with that I say goodbye for now. 

Hopefully I’ll be back blogging about something insignificant again one day. 

I hope you continue to meet your goals and achieve your dreams. Never stop going for what you want. 

Blaze

With thanks to  Jamie Street for the image via Unsplash.com 

NaNoWriMo: Day Eleven

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Pages: Eighty Two
Word Count: 27,651

Hi guys!

These days are really going over aren’t they? I hope you are all doing well. I’m sure you are doing just fine.

A question to think about. Do you write from pain or imagination?

It’s long been argued that unless a writer has suffered then that writer is lacking in making the reader believe. Some believe this to be true. Others, think that it’s not necessary.

Truth is, there is no wrong answer. You write whatever comes to you. If that involves putting a part of yourself in the story then do so. If not then use your imagination to feel how your character feels.

I do both. I use my past experiences as a guide to help me. There’s always a character that inherits part of my situation that I faced in the past or a certain struggle that I once had that I overcame.

Writing can be a thereputic affair. Writing has always been there for me, whether it was writing in my journal or songwriting – I went through a faze of wanting to be a singer when I was eleven. Whenever I was upset or happy or angry I’d write. It helped me get through things whenever I was struggling. Music also helped hugely as well.

Write about pain. Write using your imagination. Whatever you do just write.

Happy Writing!

Until tomorrow,

Blaze

NaNoWriMo – Day Three

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Pages – Twenty Four
Word Count – 8,205

Hi guys!

Here we are! The third day!

Today’s writing session went the same as yesterday’s. Painful and more painful. I think this is because of the way that I’ve decided to write it. I’m wriitng it in third person and as I’ve said previously it’s not my greatest point. As there are two characters I thought the best way to write it would be to use that POV (point of view for those who are unfamiliar with the abbrievation). What better time than NaNoWriMo to get acquainted with something that you aren’t good at doing? Not only is the story new territory but the POV is completely new to me, too.

My two characters have been through the mill, both off page and on.

Daniel who is fifteen has been a subject of relentless violence. He’s the kind of character I’ve never wrote before. He’s got an arrogance about him that only his friends could admire and a abd boy that all the girls want hanging off their arm. There’s a reason for his arrogance. His mum divorced his dad nine months ago after they’d argued relentlessly for the past two years, of which Daniel, or Danny as his friends call him, got himself into some trouble. Hence, the violence.

Adria who is eighteen, is Daniel’s sister. She has had to be her mum’s rock throughout the divorce. Not an easy task since she took to alcohol to soften the blow. Adria has had no choice but to take her mum’s place by paying bills and sorting out the weekly shop. Seeing Daniel come home every night in cuts and scratches doesn’t ease the stress. Not only his her mum in disarray but also her brother. She is desperate to help him but the only way is to pay off the guys he’s crossed. The only to do so, is to sell her soul.

I’m still uncertain at the themes that have been raised so far.

Well, maybe with time that’ll change.

Keep on writing. Remember that the page can’t tell you how to write and whichever way you add writing to it, you’re doing it right. 🙂

I believe in you 🙂

Until tomorrow,

Blaze

With thanks to Negative Space for the image via Unsplash.com

Mental Health: The Invisible Illness

It’s been a while readers!

The reason behind my online absence has been because of my ongoing health issues. Two weeks ago and you would have been greeted with a different post. But following a suicide of one of my neighbours affected me more than you could imagine.

I don’t know the reasons behind it, it could have been due to anything like the state of our blundering economy, not getting enough support from those higher placed or, like me, suffering from an illness which is invisible to the naked eye.

I’m not speculating. Forgive me if it comes across that way. Mental health issues are ignored tenaciously. Nobody wants to acknowledge such a darkness that lies in one’s mind. I know all too well of the isolation and helplessness when all you want is someone to understand and give you an answer on how to fix it. But, to some more life threatening illnesses, mental health issues such as depression and anxiety can’t be cured by an operation.

People everywhere are struggling with this darkness. Everyday they are pleading to an invisible force for a cure other than talking therapies and motivation for tackling such problems. This is why I am urging you to open your minds, use your instincts, not your eyes to see if someone very close to you is suffering. Chances are they are looking for someone to understand them just like me.

Let’s give this issue one of its own. Let’s talk about it. Let us defeat mental health problems.

Thank you for reading,

Blaze x