A Tangled Mind


Sorry for my absence these past couple of days. It’s been really, really tough but hopefully I’m turning a corner now.

In the past week I’ve had non stop panic attacks and nightmares and hallucinations.  The hallucinating has come as a bit of a shock to the system to be a honest because thr last time I had dealings with those was when I was seven/ eight years old during and after being physically abused. 

The first panic attack that occurred last week was just to do with me having a laptop on my desk and having a monitor placed behind it (it sounds so silly, even my partner thought so) but to me it felt like I was drowning. Some people might think that panic attacks only happen in public places, although this can be the case panic attacks can happen with almost any situation. That’s what makes mental health so difficult for people to understand.

I don’t think this is a case of people being ignorant however. It is simply a case of being human; we fear what is not known to us. We are programmed to stay clear from things that make as feel uncomfortable. We learn what we like to eat and what we don’t like, what feels safe and what doesn’t etc, from when we are babies and we carry it with us throughout our lives.

The sad truth of it is, is that people like me with mental health issues is that isolation tends to be a huge factor, and the more a person with issues such as depression, anxiety etc, the more unworthy and hopeless a person feels.

This is a huge problem which urgently needs resolving fast. The government need to be organising group activities for people with mental health issues to enable them to feel good and increase their social life.

Most important of all, we need to stop keeping it hidden and start talking about it a lot more than we are. That way we can drop the stigma against mental health. Remember, just because a person is mentally ill, it doesn’t class them any less as a person.

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Blaze x


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