This week I have been reading and re- mastering my writing skill. It’s been said that a writer never stops learning, and that’s true. I love learning new things that I didn’t know before. Even if that something is what I should have known from the start. But, hey. Nobody’s perfect.
It’s also been a week of personal challenges.
As some of you may know I have battled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. That battle has seen me fall, lose my sense of self and wander in the dark. But it’s also made me stronger and more determined to overcome it.
Yesterday I hit another milestone. I walked by myself, went to a coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. Okay, so it doesn’t seem like that big a deal and to some it probably isn’t, but I haven’t done that in such a long time. I’ve either gone with my husband who is fabulous dealing with my illness and he’s ordered for the two of us, or we walk together.
I can’t explain all of those emotions what I felt, but I was almost certain that I’d back out of going. But I didn’t.
It was a huge deal to me to be able to do that. And I hope to do it more often.
I am about to start therapy again soon. Earlier this year I was discharged from Primary Care to Secondary where they could keep more of an eye on me while I explore the issues of my past. And with an assessment for Autism in the pipeline it’s all going on.
My childhood was very traumatic as were my teenage years. A lot of the stuff that happened was swept under the carpet by family members that didn’t want to remember or talk about what happened to me. There are a lot of issues I have to iron out and put my suffering to bed.
How I will cope during that process is going to be hard to tell.
Which is why I must put this blog aside for now and concentrate on overcoming this obstacle that I call recovery.
It pains me to do so, but I can’t give you my all if I’m not whole myself.
In the past four years I have loved writing posts about writing and various things and I hope that my ramblings have helped you in someway.
It’s with that I say goodbye for now.
Hopefully I’ll be back blogging about something insignificant again one day.
I hope you continue to meet your goals and achieve your dreams. Never stop going for what you want.
With thanks to Jamie Street for the image via Unsplash.com